Bright Future viewed
(An Experience of Music Therapy with Dr. Chandrakant)
An Indian student / artist, Japan (18)
I remember trying to figure out how music could cure me. The rational person that I am, it was hard to accept that music, my favorite pastime and channel of entertainment, could help me in any way to reduce the internal conflicts that my body and mind had been going through for the past four to five years almost. I started undergoing music therapy as a different experience, not really serious about it, but by the end of the first session, I was completely drained of all my emotions. Let me jot down my experiences session wise:
During the first session, I could feel waves of music wash over me, an experience that can be felt only as you lay down by the sea side and let the sea waves wash your body. I tried to fight all the feelings of guilt and anger that washed over me. I had tried to avoid some incidents in my life and had tried to erect an impregnable wall around them, completely cut them off. However, I could not control myself as I heard the music and I burst out crying. I could feel a weird lightheadedness, something that you usually feel only after going hungry for days on end. I could also feel my blood circulation increase. I had lost my appetite and felt like crying continuously; forever.
I was completely exhausted before the second session, and I fell asleep almost as soon as Chandrakant started playing the sitar, I never even realized when I fell asleep. And after the session Chandrakant asked me about my experiences during the therapy and I told him that I did not remember anything, that's when he told me that I had been asleep, I didn't believe him and he had to convince me for the next half an hour. So I don't really have an experience of the therapy of my second session, but I did feel very very relieved after the therapy. Not like after the first session, when I simply hated Chandrakant for bringing back a flood of the memories that I had seemingly successfully buried down under. The blood circulation had improved and my skin had started glowing, with a kind of healthy halo to it.
During the third session, I saw colors, purple, white and black. When I asked Chandrakant about their significance after the session, he explained their significance and I realized that I was convalescing, and that I had started thinking positively about my future already. I also saw myself achieving all that I had set out to, and my family and loved ones enjoying my moment of triumph with me.
This was the last time that I had to undergo music therapy. During this therapy, Chandrakant decided that we should change the time of the day for the therapy. So we decided to keep it in the morning instead of the afternoon. During this therapy, I saw a lake that I used to visit when I was a kid, and a sunrise, which I guess is symbolic of my perspective now. I also saw the two colors i.e. white and purple. We figured out their significance again and found out that I had moved ahead in my path of healing. I also saw myself achieving my aims again, this time even more clearly than before.
It has been almost a month since my last music therapy and I am feeling more enthusiastic and full of life than I ever did before. I think that all this is due to music therapy only as I would never have been able to fight my inner demons had it not been for music therapy. All I can do is thank God for this chance to experience something so amazing so early in my life, that helped in changing my life so drastically for the better.